Trying to put little boys to bed is like...

...trying to cram a pack of feral cats into a mesh bag. You lay there with them, trying to trick them into falling asleep by breathing deeply and assuring them that yes, you will open the door when you leave their room and saying that no, you don't know what Pokemon evolves into Pignite and praying to the dear little baby Jesus that you won't fall asleep with this one before he falls asleep so that you can get up to put the next one to sleep, where you will start all over again, trying to stay awake long enough to keep your stoopid resolution by posting something on your blog before midnight. And then you realize that you don't know what the hell you're going to blog about, anyway.

My bella figlia (who is reading over my shoulder) thinks that I should blog about how funny she is, but since this family likes to remind me that I am not funny, that ain't gonna happen, kid. (But for the record, she is flippin' hilarious.)

Did you know that one of my pettest of peeves is starting a written sentence with "and"? And then I re-read Neil Gaiman's poem, "Instructions", and he does it like, fi'ty times. So even though I've hated it for years, I thought, "If Neil Gaiman does it, how bad can it be?" So now I'm giving myself permission to start sentences with "and". See, I've done it twice in this post, already! What a rebel.

Winter and I saw a Chevy Cobalt today and it was red. What is wrong with people?! Same deal with the Toyota Sequoia. If they're gonna call it Sequoia, it should damn well be made entirely of wood and be connected to every other Toyota Sequoia on the gd planet! Just saying.

I'm just cranky. Here:

a link to Instructions by Neil Gaiman

and a few relevant quotes.

"There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep." ~RALPH WALDO EMERSON

"But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep." ~ROBERT FROST

Good night, my darlings. (Now close your eyes and close your mouth and go. to. sleep!)