This Blog Post Just Published Itself

No joke. I was looking at the blinking cursor when my hand slipped and a "View This Post" button popped up. So I "viewed this post" and saw a title-less word-less post. I am now editing that post. So that there is actually something on it.

Top Ten Things That I Am Thinking About Other Than This Post:

1) I need to help my bella figlia finish filling out her high school registration. My baby is going to high school. And not in an "eventually, someday" kinda way, either. Soon!

2) I need to put in a boring movie and sort paperwork.

3) I wish that movie could be The Sound of Music. It isn't boring, but I do know it really well, and so wouldn't have to pay close attention. My girl auditioned for the middle school musical today, and they're doing The Sound of Music, and I'm trying not to be really, really excited by that. Trying, but not really succeeding.

4) Every time I hear the word "succeed", it is immediately followed in my head by King Julian saying, "There will be no sucking seed!" Which is what I get for enjoying movies marketed for children.

5) I want to talk to my husband, but have to do all of this other stuff, first. Otherwise, I will just be thinking of all of this stuff and suck at conversing with him.

6) I need to do the dishes and throw the last load of clothes into the dryer, before they take over again.

7) I'd rather be knitting. Or crocheting. Or anything other than my list of "have to-s".

8) I really want to make sure that my boys get up on time to return to school in the morning. It turns out that I don't do well without the structure of them going to school. They've been sick (fevers, stuffed up noses and coughs) and they're med-ed to the gills asleep right now, hopefully healing enough to return to their classes tomorrow. Because I haven't gotten a damn thing done with them home the last two days.

9) I broke down and bought soda today. Trying not to beat myself up about bad food choices. In reality, they're only "less good" choices, but the guilt sneaks up on me anyway.

10) I forgot to water my plants this weekend. Another thing to catch up on! Argh.

Did you know that this post completes my first month of posting daily?! I may actually pull this resolution off! Only eleven more months to go. :)

Monday's Muse: Vegetable Stamping

Quotable Sunday: She has never left me.

I read The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett yesterday. I'd listened to it as an audiobook before, but as any devoted bibliophile knows: reading it with your own eyes is an entirely different thing. This passage made my heart ache and sing:

"The wheels of stars and years, of space and time, locked into place. She knew exactly where she was, and who she was, and what she was...'Now I know why I never cried for Granny,' she said. 'She has never left me.'"

SMMS2M: She Taught Me How To Wing It

You wanna know what my mama taught me? She taught me how to wing it. I'm not sure that it was intentional. A few examples:

My mom couldn't sew. Didn't have a crafty bone in her body. She used to laugh and say that she could barely draw a stick figure. (I loved her stick figures, by the way: they were always in crayon, they always had big, open smiles, and if she was drawing for me, they always had a fat brown spiral of curls with a bow on top.) Do you think that this kept her from making our halloween costumes? Heck, no! If she was getting really fancy, she might hem something by breaking out the Stitch Witchery and the iron, but most of the time it was elmer's glue and a stapler. My sister has a story about a pair of aluminum foil angel wings that haunts her to this day.

My mom wasn't always prepared. I always wondered why she seemed so frazzled. (Then I had three kids and called her up and said, "I am SO SORRY! I had NO IDEA.") I don't think that I had a single band concert that didn't start with me at the door, waiting impatiently for her to pull into our driveway with a new skirt or pair of tights. I always had to change in the back seat. For anyone in my life who still wonders why I have absolutely no modesty: fifteen years of changing costumes in the wings AND CHANGING IN THE BACK SEAT!

My mom was a saint when it came to carting me to and from a kabillion rehearsals and performances over the years, but when it came to auditions? Drove. Me. Crazy. First of all, she always insisted that I audition with, "this song". You know, the song I've never heard, that song for which we have no accompaniment or sheet music? The song just enough out of my range to terrify me? For the audition in an hour that she told me about oh...roughly ninety minutes ago?! Did she know about these auditions before-hand? I have no idea, but I spent my adolescence taking a deep breath and walking onstage to sell my talent with very little in the way of a game plan.

True story: One day, I went on an outing with Mom and my Nana. I was about ten, and being alone with them was my version of heaven. Until we arrived at a bandstand, my Nana whipped an Annie dress and wig out of a bag and I was told that we were there for a singing competition. I was told that I would sing, "Tomorrow". "But I don't know all of the words to 'Tomorrow'!" I said. They looked at one another, confused. Hadn't I seen the movie? So they sat down by some vending machines and wrote the lyrics out on the back of an envelope one of them had in her purse and said, "You have about half an hour before you go on." I won the Michael Jackson album, 'Thriller'.

Another true story:

Okay, this one was kind of my fault: My mom told a director that I'd worked with in the past (let's call her "C.") that I'd star in a little personal project that C. was putting on over the summer. I read the script and it was crap. Basically, this woman had plagiarized a dozen movies, sprinkled it with pop songs and changed a few words to make it about saving the environment. I won't go into detail, but there was a Star Wars Cantina scene in the middle and I had to sing Bette Midler's 'From a Distance' for the finale. Yeah. So, I spent absolutely zero time that summer memorizing that crap (and doing another show). Which was fine... until Mom dragged me to the performance. (Thank you, Jesus, there was only one!) I got through that "show" by reading my next lines in the wings before every scene. Suck.

(I just realized, re-reading this, that I'm kind of making Mom sound like my performance pimp. Honestly, 90% of the time I was totally on board. The comic Russell Brand has a line in one of his routines that makes me laugh my ass off every time: The audience applauds and he says, "Don't bother with that. I hear it in my head, constantly." That? Is me.)

So how did all of these little life lessons help me in the long run?

Well, you know all of those pesky term papers that required 400 book references? The ones you were supposed to work on for months? I never worked on it until the night before. I'd go to the library and check out every book they had on my subject. I'd cart them home and write my bibliography first. Then I'd browse a few of the books that looked the most promising and write my paper, randomly pulling a sentence here and there to quote references. Got an A+. Every. Time.

A year or so ago, while working at the storage garage where we were storing the last of Mom's stuff, Lisa and I accidentally dropped the keys (to the van AND the storage garage) into the hole for the van's trunk lift support.



Now, we could have panicked. Well, we did swear, but then we MacGyvered a hook out of a McDonald's straw that was in my glove box, a piece of wire (from a straightened-out key ring), a piece of paper, and Lisa's earring. And then we fished our keys out.

Last week, my bella figlia came home jazzed and crowed, "Hey, Mom! I got a B+ on my book report for history day and I didn't even read the book! I was sitting in class, praying, 'Please don't pick me, please don't pick me..' so then of course she called my name, so I just got up and spouted off everything that I know about my subject and I got a B+!!!"

And I said, "Way to go, babe!" and high-fived her. It wasn't until afterward that I realized that maybe most parents wouldn't have considered that a good thing. She didn't do her assignment. She wasn't prepared. But she faced the music and she worked with what she had and she pulled it off. She's joined the ranks of all of the strong, smart women that have come before her and I am welcoming her with open arms. Her Nana would be so proud.

If you'd like to participate in the SMMS2M blog meme, grab the button from my sidebar and leave a link to your post in my comment section so that I can read what you wrote!

Friday Fill-Ins: January 27, 2012

1. It's time to make the doughnuts.

2. Letter to self: you need de-icer for the front step and vegan mayo ... and don't forget the mail! Mail it!

3. I'm trying to drink more water.

4. I'm supposed to write the last funny comment I received here, but that's a little vague, I mean, do they mean on my blog or Facebook or in real life? Plus I'd have to wrack my brain/look that up and realistically, that's just not going to happen.

5. Please send patience, strength, and sunshine.

6. I know that our five year plan isn't going as well as we'd anticipated, but I'm praying hard because I'm in it for the long haul either way.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to maybe finish crocheting my galfarkin' afghan and watching The Kids Are All Right with Sissy, tomorrow my plans include cleaning and running errands spelled out in #2 and Sunday, I want to get paperwork sorted and filed!

Love Thursday: Love These

Love this image:

Love this performance:

Love this song:

Happy Love Thursday.

Wordless Wednesday: Before He Turned 5

New To-Do + Sleep

I just had an amazing day with Jesse and the kids. I am so, so, sososo happy and blessed. I am also tired. Very, very tired. Between Jesse's wonked-out schedule and getting up with the kids this morning, I got about 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night. So--I'm gonna update my to-do list so that I can have a productive day tomorrow and call it a night!

I'll put it in a pretty color, too, because maybe that will motivate me:

1) Vacuum Sissy's room and LR.
2) Get/find empty bin, pack w/remaining Xmas tchotchkes, store in garage.
3) Paperwork! (esp. Sis HS enrollment, COBRA and email addy @ Rand McNally texted.)
4) Freaking clean my room, already!
5) Bookcase to garage.
6) Change boys sheets.
7) Boys' baths.
8) Never-ending laundry.
9) Organize dry goods in kitchen.
10) West haircut.
11) Donate clothes/dishes.

My room and the paperwork are larger jobs (and the laundry will always be an everyday thing, at least until my children are grown, I'm thinking) but the rest could conceivably get done tomorrow. If I go to sleep now. I'm going to sleep now.

"There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep." ~Homer

I would like to write a meaningful blog post today...

but my son is wailing downstairs because he and his brother were horsing around in bed (after I told them for the thousandth time to stop because someone was going to get hurt) and he whacked his head. I've refused to show him sympathy, and that's what made him start crying. He's escalating as I type this. Apparently, he didn't like my suggestion that perhaps his bump would serve to remind him to obey me.

Also, Jesse is on his way home and I'd like to clear off his desk and our bed before he gets here (I have a habit now of letting my books accumulate on his side of the bed as I read them until the pile is as big as...Jesse. Not the same.)

West is still wailing. Must go and parent. *Sigh*

Sunday Stealing: The Never-ending Meme Ends

36. Have you watched American Horror Story? Nope. I just googled it, and it looks too scary. I used to have to wait for my husband to get home before watching Xfiles, and even then could only watch with my back against the wall, wrapped in a blanket.

37. Baseball hat or toque? Okay, I just googled toque ("What the hell is a toque?!") and then realized that it really doesn't matter, because I don't wear either. On a really bitterly cold day, I might grab a scarf and drape it over my head before wrapping it around my neck, but that's about it.

38. Do you shampoo or soap up first in the shower? Always shampoo. Taught to wash from the head down.

39. Wet the toothbrush or brush dry with the toothpaste? Always wet. Dry with toothpaste is just yucky.

40. Pen or pencil? Pen. I mostly use pencils like chopsticks to hold my bun in place.

41. Have you ever gambled at a casino? Only if nickle slots count.

42. Have you thrown up on a plane? No.

43. Have you thrown up in a car? No. The only time I was close, my girlfriend Jenn said, "Don't you dare throw up in my car!", so I didn't.

44. Have you thrown up at work? Yes? I don't know/remember.

45. Do you scream on roller coasters? No.

46. How many shoes do you have? About 10 pairs, but most of those are warm-weather wear. Currently have three pairs in rotation: flats, black slip-ons and plain black moccasins.

47. Who was your first roommate? Heather Eckloff, at the art HS, MCAE (now PCAE).

48. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk for the first time? Tequila Sunrises. My boyfriend at the time was mixing them, so they were lotsa Tequila, very little "sunrise"!

49. What was your first job? Working in a hospital laundry, when I was fifteen.

50. What was your first car? Chevy 'Ebrity (the C-E-L had fallen off). I loved that car!

51. When did you go to your first funeral? When my grandfather, Richard Rottman died.

52. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown? About eight.

53. Who was your first grade teacher? Sister-Mary-I Don't Remember.

54. Where did you go on your first airplane ride? My boyfriend had a pilot's license and took me up in his Cessna above Anoka, MN when I was about fifteen. (No, my parents didn't know.)

55. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with? I never did.

56. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them? My first best friend was Shanin Suminski. She lived across the street from me and I just loved her. Her dad came to my mother's funeral and told me that Shanin had died from a rare condition years ago when we were young women, and I was devastated.

57. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents’ house? The HS dorm? My Nana's? Jesse and my's first apartment? I'm not sure which applies.

58. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? My husband. Followed closely by one of my sisters.

59. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen? Our dear friends Jenn and Wayne's wedding.

60. What is the first thing you do in the morning? Hit snooze. Put on my glasses.

61. What was the first concert you attended? Jason Mraz.

62. First tattoo or piercing? Ears pierced by my Auntie Mary and one of her girlfriends against my mom's wishes when I was twelve.

63. First celebrity crush? Christian Bale in Newsies.

SMMS2M: This Is Me, Making My Own Blog Meme

Let me start out by saying that I love a good daily blog meme. Some of my best/easiest/most meaningful (to me) posts have started with a prompt from a meme. I definitely have my favorites, crutches that I cling to when I'm too brain-fried to know where to start but want the temporary stress relief that writing provides me. I've been thinking about this for awhile (over a year actually) and I think I'm ready to start my own meme. I decided that this would be a good idea because:

A)I have yet to find a Saturday blog meme that appeals to me.

B)My Bella Figlia is, first and foremost, a "mommy blog", and

C)I am finally in a place where I can talk about my mother, where I want to talk about my mother, and I need a safe place to do that. A place to put down all of the things that I don't want to forget and maybe also work out who I am without her. A place where I can maybe even come to terms with my feelings of anger and guilt. Doesn't that sound fun?!

We all of us had a mother, and things that she said and did (or didn't say and do) affected us. She taught us things. Even if she was absent, her absence taught us things. Many of us are mothers. We, in our turn, are saying and doing things that are affecting our children. I want to write about that.

So--every Saturday I will post under the title "Songs My Mother Sang To Me" (SMMS2M for short.) Right now, I think that I have a readership of roughly occasionally one, but if you are reading this, and if you are occasionally moved to write about your mother, or being a mother, or that mother-f6@%er that flipped you the bird on the street, and it's a Saturday...please feel free to grab the button in the sidebar and leave a link to your post in the comment section here so that I can read it.

Love/Hate

I love that I've managed to keep dishes and laundry washed and put away lately. It's such a small thing, really, but pays off big-time when I'm starting the day. The laundry, especially, is a big deal, as I'm notoriously bad at getting it put away, often leaving it stacked and folded in towering baskets for weeks at a time. So, go me!

I hate how tired I've been these last few days. Is it because I've cut out caffeine again? Or maybe just due to the migraine coming and going? Seriously, I'm practically narcoleptic, and I'm not getting a damn thing done. That ends tomorrow morning, I swear! Though I may have to lean on the caffeine crutch to make that true.

Tomorrow, my girlfriend Adrienne is going to visit with her kids at lunchtime: we're planning on ordering pizza for kids and then scampering off to the Olive Garden for lunch, ourselves.

Other than that, the plan is to tackle more of the dreaded to-do list (especially the paperwork and bills-argh!) and hopefully have a few long conversations on the phone with Jesse, because with neither of us feeling well the last few days, calls between us have been few and far between.

I'm looking forward to posting tomorrow: I have an idea!

Love Thursday: I Have A Migraine

So today I love:

Obedient, largely self-sufficient children,

my very loyal dog (who refuses to leave my side),

migraine meds,

the dark,

and silence.

Happy Birthday, Natalie!

Today is my sister Natalie's yetheretherhythm! I mean, her birthday! And so today I am dedicating my post to pictures of her beautiful face. And beautiful Natalie thoughts.

Wasn't she adorable? I loved her right from the start. Clearly.






So, let's see...I'm still twenty-five, and she's three years younger than me, so that makes her...twenty-two! Happy 22nd Birthday, Nat! Boy, do you look great.






Like a doll, only better!






I went looking for my two favorite pictures of you of all time. You know, the close-up profile shot taken when we came to visit you in Akron, OH, years ago? Your hair was bobbed and your sweater matched your eyes. And the one that dad took in the technicolor sweater when you were about fifteen? (I have the shot of you and Lee from that same session, but you have gum in your mouth and you'd slap me if I posted that one, maybe.) No dice, otherwise. But while I was looking for those and not finding them, I found all of these and got all farklempt.





"Mwah! Man, am I ever good at this big sister thing."




I'm sorry that I didn't let you play with me and Shannon.
I'm sorry for hitting you with that doll by dad's stereo.
I'm sorry for leaning on you too hard during our teens.
I'm sorry for every time you heard, "Oh, you're Angela's sister!"
I'm sorry for hogging so much of Mom's attention and time.
I'm sorry that it took you so long to grow hair.




















When I was about thirteen, Natalie climbed into my bed and told me, "You're my best friend." She looked completely lost and my heart broke for her. I wasn't even a particularly good sister. Looking into her eyes I said to myself, "If you're the best she's got, you're gonna have to do better than this." And I have thanked God a million times since for that moment, because the truth is that I was the one receiving a gift: a companion and a confidant and a champion. (She has turned on unsuspecting detractors like a Fury, and defended me when I couldn't defend myself, so I warn you all: don't come against me ,or anyone one else that she loves, 'cause she'll cut a bitch!)

See? Fierce!

So, for the girl who knows all of my buttons and how to push them, the girl who's loved me and hated me when I've loved and hated her, the girl who grew up with me and laughed with me and cried with me and is not only one of my beloved sisters, but one of my dearest friends:

Happy Birthday, Baby. I am so glad that you're here.

TTT: Cutting It Close

Fifty-four minutes before today ends and I have yet to post! Here are the Top 10 reasons why:

1)My to-do list. Still plugging away, still consuming my days, still unfinished. I know that I will die with a to-do list, really I do get it, but this stuff? Really does need to get done. Srsly.

2)My cell phone. Yes, I have thought of, "Don't answer it" but that doesn't apply to some people. Namely, my husband, my sister and my daughter.

3)Pinterest. I kinda just figured it out and oh. my. god! Not only can you spend HOURS "pinning" stuff, but it gives you the means to find fun projects that you can do, thereby using up even more of your precious time. I am doomed.

4)A pesky little thing called "parenting". It turns out that getting kids up and clean and dressed and fed and driven and educated and fed and entertained and picked up and fed and finished with homework and disciplined and consoled and fed and put to bed takes time. Lots and lots of time.

5)Visiting my sister. Had an awesome time. Two-and-a-half hours of awesome, to be exact.

6)Facebook. And Pinterest! Again! What if the interwebz is secretly Satan? Maybe. I'm thinking maybe yes.

7)Boys. Boys that would. not. go. to. bed! Even after two warnings. And the threat of dire consequences. And being scolded by Daddy via cellphone. Our youngest bounced up and down (making monkey noises) while his dad was scolding him, if that gives you any idea? Jesus.

8)Helping my husband do trip-planning for his loads in the truck. He was very tired and very unhappy and kinda unprepared. Which is fine. But it took time.

9)My Bella Figlia needed the computer for homework again tonight. Which she didn't announce until quarter to ten. Which is like, 15 minutes later than she should be up on a school night in the first place. Come to think of it, why didn't she use the laptop? Why didn't I use the laptop?! Argh.

10) I realized that I didn't (don't) have the time to write up the RTT post that has been brewing in my head all day long. Darn it.

It's 11:43. I've gotta link this baby up and hit "publish post"! *wipesbrowfallsdown*

For more Top Ten lists, visit Oh Amanda!

Monday's Muse: Making Buttons 4 My Blog

Today I've spent hours putzing around on Adobe Photoshop and Photobucket making blog buttons for daily blog prompts.

I decided to make one for my friend Tamara's blog so that I could easily access it from mine. Tamara, besides being my oldest and dearest friend, is an artist, and therefore an art snob. It is likely that she will spit on my color choices secretly. (I tried, Tam, I tried!) I'm sure that she can and will make her own gorgeous button when she feels like it. Anyway, here's what I came up with:



<a border="0" href="http://yammerjaw.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i596.photobucket.com/albums/tt45/angelanollmohn/yammerjaw2-2-1.jpg"/></a>

My girl is STILL not done with her homework and needs the computer, so I'll leave it at that today. Peace out.

Sunday Stealing: The Never-ending Meme Parts 1&2

1. Song that always makes you sad? A Beautiful Mess by Jason Mraz

2. Last thing you bought? Groceries and Cat Litter

3. Last person you argued with? Walker Cash

4. Do you put butter before putting the peanut butter on? What?! No!

5. One of your stuffed animals’ names as a kid? I honestly don't remember.

6. Did you ever at one time own a Barenaked Ladies CD? Yes.

7. Favorite day of the week? Probably Saturday.

8. Favorite sundae topping? Caramel.

9. Did you take piano lessons? No, but I wish that I had.

10. Most frequent song played? By me? Probably Turning Tables by Adele.

11. T.V. show you secretly enjoy? Hoarders.

12. Would you rather play basketball or hockey? Basketball.

13. Date someone older or younger? Younger.

14. One place you could travel right now? Downstairs.

15. Do you use umbrellas? It's probably 50/50. Sometimes I prepare, and sometimes I just let myself get soaked.

16. Do you know all the words to the Canadian national anthem? That'd be a no.

17. Favorite cheese? I don't eat cheese anymore, but when I did I'd have had to say cream cheese. Now, Tofutti's Better Than Cream Cheese...

18. The Smith’s or The Cure? The Smith's. Hate The Cure.

19. Do you prefer blondes or brunettes? Brunettes.

20. Best job you ever had? Loved managing the restaurant for the first few years.

21. Did you go to your high school prom? Both of them, only we called it "Gala".

22. Perfect time to wake up? In a perfect world? 10am.

23. Perfect time to go to bed? Midnight.

24. Do you use your queen right away in chess? Never. Always save her and the king for the end.

25. Ever been in a car accident? Many.

26. Closer to mom or dad…or neither? Mom.

27. What age is this exciting life over for you? Are you asking that I predict my death? 80 sounds good.

28. What decade during the 20th century would you have chosen to be a teenager? 80's

29. Favorite shoes you have EVER owned? I had a pair of brown suede high-heeled boots that I wore forever. Not sure if they were my favorite, but that's what came to mind.

30. Do you have an article of clothing you have had since you were in high school? No.

31. Were you in track and field? God, no.

32. Were you ever in a school talent show? Always.

33. Have you ever written in a library book? Never.

34. Allergic to? Lactose intolerant.

35. Favorite fruit? Raspberries, lately.

To Do List

1) Write to-do list
2) Wash dishes, garbage out, table cleared
3) LR blitzed, vacuumed, tree down/ornaments boxed and put away
4) Garland/poinsettias et cetera down and stored
5) Blitz Sissy's room/vacuum/change sheets
6) Straighten back closet/bookcase to garage
7) Clean boy's room/put clean laundry away/vacuum/change sheets
8) Laundry (whites) washed/dried/folded/PUT AWAY
9) Wipe down sink and mirror in bathroom
10) Clean my room, clean my room, clean my room!
11) OMG Paperwork! (esp. Sis HS enrollment)
12) Garbage out
13) Baths and homework done and clothes laid out for Tuesday
14) Mail COBRA payment
15) Change litter
16) Water plants
17) Clip Katie's nails
18) Get/find empty bin, pack w/remaining Xmas tchotchkes, store in garage
19) Clean out van

Friday Fill-Ins: Friday the 13th

1. When I looked out the window this morning I was bummed out to find that MN has finally figured out that it's winter-time and gotten cold.
2. Quantum physics doesn't (don't) make sense to me.
3. Remind me why I decided to post everyday, again?
4. Making and/or creating stuff is something I love to do!
5. TP is (are) the initials of Jason Mraz's fiance, Tristan Prettman.
6. I cleaned the refrigerator recently and I found an empty juice pitcher.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a movie with my bella figlia, tomorrow my plans include getting my $h!* together and Sunday, I want to prepare well for the coming school week and talk to my kids about Dr. MLK Jr., and the importance of what he did!

How I Wasted My Afternoon: Plarn

I may have just proven to myself that my greatest talent is for procrastination. I don't know how, but I somehow got signed up to receive emails from a website called Knitting Paradise. I followed the link in one of the emails to their forum and guess what?! Did you know that you can knit and/or crochet the plastic bags that you get from the grocery store? Crazy, right? So of course I had to read all about it and then pull all of the bags out of the cupboard by the fridge and spend most of the afternoon cutting up (and then linking and crocheting with) them. Because apparently I am insane. I will post a picture tomorrow of the useless thing that I have crocheted so far. Until then, talk (or laugh and point) amongst yourselves.

Wordless Wednesday: Journal As Muse